The Drinking Critic
If you can’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else?
“If you cannot love yourself, how in the hell can you love anyone else?” These are true words from RuPaul!
It is time for Mama Pigeon to tell you a few things about dating. It’s not easy, and it can be challenging for so many reasons, and we are not just talking COVID-19 either.
The 2SLGBTQ+ can be its own worse enemy when it comes to dating. How many times do you see, no fats, no fems, no old on someone’s profile? Lets be honest, far too many times. What happened to the days that you could have a conversation and express a polite thank you instead of insults? This does not help anyone’s self esteem. People are human and we are sexual by nature. You never know, you may make a friend by just talking. Chat and take a chance Pigeon.
Let us be very clear to all young Pigeons, you cannot stop time. There will come a day when some things are going to sag a little. You are going to get a few wrinkles, and maybe a little donut, but that is life. Time is always pushing forward and there are things you just cannot stop. My advice Pigeons is that if someone says you are good looking, or do you want to go out sometime, and they are not your type, remember this simple rule, enjoy it and for the love of GOD, be kind. Appreciate the interest and remember it takes a lot to ask someone out. Just be kind. One more time for the Pigeons in the back, just be kind.
Mama Pigeon came out in her early 40s, which was no easy task. As an older queer, coming out and finding one’s true self is not easy, and living that truth can be hard too. Every fear you have you feel is coming true. Will my friends accept me? Will my family support me? Will I lose my job when people find out? The list of questions never ends.
Most of us want to share our lives with someone and it’s not easy as an older person newly out to find people, especially if you not really into the bar scene etc. I tried dating apps, but never really found the connection I needed to take it further. Do not get me wrong, the sex was wonderful, but the connection you need just was not quite there. Eventually, I met a wonderful person who completes my life. We met working together a few years ago. It all started with a simple conversation. Did I mention Pigeons, a simple conversation. Simple, yes that is how it began.
The biggest challenge we have is a 20-year age difference, but only because of other people. It is not unusual in the queer community for older and younger to enter a relationship, but the looks by others or comments we sometimes get are hurtful. By the way, mama pigeon is 53 years old and loving it.
What you need to know Pigeons, is when you become your true authentic self, the rest will work itself out. If you are trying to be something you are not, like straight, you will never succeed or be genuinely happy in any relationship you have, because deep down you know its not really you.
Whether you are in your 20s, or 60s, just be you and love yourself. Once you do that, the world will become a new place. Pigeons, Geri Atrick loves you, but you need to love yourself first. I promise, once you do that, your life gets better than you can ever imagine. Loving yourself, is not selfish, it is just something we all need to do.
One more piece of advice Pigeons, just be kind. When someone is rude or insults you, just be kind. Someone calls you a fag, just be kind. If they are attacking you, they are usually struggling with their own demons. Being kind is the best weapon you will ever have. The same applies to heterosexuals too, do not think you get off that easy breeders. Love is love. You are all loved Pigeons, you just may not realize it, but you are.
When we truly love ourselves, we must show love to others. We may not agree with someone on what they say or do, like political leaders, but we need to remember they are human beings making decisions that they think is best, even when we know they are wrong.
About the Author
Geri Atrick is co-host of Not So Str8 Talk, a show that focuses on marginalized & 2SLGBTQ+. Geri also organizes national events around music and the arts, is deeply passionate and active in politics, and is an advocate on many social justice issues. Giver her a little wine and you will never know what she will say. Check out the show at www.str8talk.ca